Oh Melissa

They say we don't appreciate what we have until it isn't there anymore
So true, so sad & so true
I had everything a man could hope for
Love
Trust
Loyalty
And Respect
Yet I threw it away
I would love to say it is because I was young and wasn't ready but I know that's no excuse
Melissa...
I'm sorry
Melissa...
Forgive me
Melissa...
I won't even ask you to take me back because I know I don't deserve it
Melissa...
You were and always will be my queen
The epitome of perfection is summed up in your essence, and maybe just maybe I'm placing you on a pedestal the world may feel you don't deserve but they don't know you like I do
Melissa
Melissa
I failed you as a man
I failed you as a friend
I just failed
You would think so many years removed I would have gotten past this
But you can't get past the best thing you ever had easily...
I miss you...
and wanna kiss you
I wanna hold you and show you that I can be the man for you
But I know the love is lost and I am too late
Oh Melissa
Oh Melissa
You are the greatest love I ever lost
And the greatest love I will never forget
Melissa...

My Confession

I've lied, cheated, and stolen
I've been good and I've been bad

My Confession

I've asked for the truth while I lied
I've gone against my own morals and principles for the popular choice

My Confession

I've chased God
I've ran from God
I've looked God in the face and cried
I've looked in the mirror and cried

My Confession

I've had deals of questionable legality
I've strong armed my way into bad deals all for profit

My Confession

I've just done a lot of wrong

My REAL Confession

I am a broken man, haunted by a clouded past. Raised by parents I never really knew. Tormented by the dreams and memories I have. I have seen more than I should have. I have faced the storm and walked through the hurricane.

I have created my own trouble

And attempted to forge my own path

I have...
Cried
Hit things
Been sad
Depressed
Hurt
Lost
Confused
Gone...

I am an incomplete man, I've come no where near the potential that lies inside of me. Truth is I don't even know how to access it, I don't know what it is and to be real, it scares me sometimes. What if I fail? What If I don't make it? What if I let myself and my family down?

I am just a man...

A man who is destined for greatness, but sometimes that destiny puts an exorbitant amount of pressure on me that no one seems to understand. It's hard to be a role model when you need one yourself, It's hard to have people looking to you when sometimes you just want to be left alone. And it's even harder to be the man you're supposed to be when you have 3 little brothers looking up at you...

Ever see Shrek? Ogres are like onions, many layers...

I've given you a small look into me...

I'm an ogre..

Big
Ugly
and with many layers

To Be Continued...

Completion

I would run for years if what I was chasing was you
They say you cannot be attained but I know I can
Because there is something different about me & you
You & me
Us
Because we are whole
The priors indicate separateness
Not whole
But that "US" represents unity
A bond
Something that can never be broken
It represents one
Because when I look at you and look at me
I see one
I see complete
In essence...I see 7
When most people speak of their relationships
They use terms such as "good" and "great"
But when I think of us..
I think complete

Light My Fire

I wanna give you what I don't have, I wanna give you me. I recognize the light that comes from you and I wanna combine it with mine, making us a torch too powerful to be snuffed. Two flames joined to make one, burning higher, stronger, and brighter than all the rest. But here is the problem, how can I give you what I don't have? I want to give you me but I was stolen from myself a long time ago. There was a woman before who stole my heart, ripped it out of my chest, stomped on it and laughed the whole time. She gave it back, just bruised, battered and distrusting. There was another one who stole my mind on multiple levels. She drove me crazy, pushed me to insanity, made me paranoid, capitalizing on my already distrusting heart, and finally she caused me to diminish my own intelligence by bringing me down to her level of simplicity. I got my mind back it just isn't the same. I wanna give you me but there was another who stole my feelings, she brought me to my current level of apathy, made me cold and heartless, I got those back too it's just hard to tell sometimes. But you, you make me feel nostalgic, reminiscing on what and who I was before I had my heart, mind, and feelings ripped away from me. I see the light in your eyes, and your heart and I want to connect it with my slightly diminishing light. I know your light can help reignite my own flame. So now all I can ask is that you accept this shell of a man and help me to be who I was before.

Quiggity....Waiting for her to light my fire

I Found Forever

I told her I was ready to start a family
So I asked her to marry me
And now we at the place where our lives meets kids
So now there is no more drama like dodging bids
It's just me and her
I had to call Common and tell him I found forever
It was in her heart and her eyes
And I knew it was special cuz it wasn't until our honeymoon when I touched her thighs
I gave her nothing but the truth, I never told lies
I even called my guys to let them know I was wise
Cuz the old heads told us that marriage brings wisdom
Keeping her happy has become my number one mission...
And as we go hard
I just sit and thank God
For gracing me with her presence
And her essence
So soon after my adolescence
When I thought I was still just a baby
She fell into my arms, forever my lady
I found forever
It's in her heart and her eyes
With her I'm transparent, there is no disguise
Her forever is in my arms
Just me and my wife, how it shoulda been from the start...
We got that crazy love
That hazy love
That let's make a baby love
And deep down everybody wants to be us..
But find your own love
Cuz your love is special..The love you have with her
I'm so glad I found my forever

A Good Woman

"Just because you cook and keep the house clean that doesn't make you a good woman, it makes you a good assistant, the problem with most women is that they don't know how to be their man's friend" --Some random guy I heard on the radio

"A Good Woman"

I'm never hungry because my good woman got me
I'm never lonely because my good woman got me
When I need an ear she lends it
When it comes to rules, she bends em
That's my good woman
She is my friend
My lover
She keeps me sane and drives me crazy
And through it all no one comes before my lady =)
She does all the good things and all the bad things
She is my good woman
Always there but never smothering
Even when she's angry she's always loving
I'll do anything for my good woman
My light
My sun
My moon
My earth
My queen
My best friend
She is absolutely everything to me...
Most guys don't recognize when they have a good thing
But I do...
And i'm gonna work to keep her and please her
Losing is not an option when it comes to My Good Woman

A Love Poem for my Nerds!

Coco asked me to do something a little light hearted, so I hope this one makes you laugh or at the very least smile...

"A Love Poem for My Nerds"

I'm pretty good with math
1+1=2
That's me plus you
Although we are 93 million miles from the sun
And there are 25,400,000 nanometers between us, thats close enough to know you're the one!
I want to make WAR with you like the revolutionary
The war of 1812
The 7 years war
The French and Indian war
World wars 1, 2 and the unavoidable 3!
But ours is a war of passion
A bubbling like the combination of baking soda and vinegar
Or an explosion like C7H5N3O6 (TNT for my non nerds)
I wanna make love to your brain as we discuss politics and the latest economic stimulus plan
I wanna slowly feed you chocolate covered strawberries as we figure out how to build a car that flies!
And finally....
As we go through random physics problems and analyze each others brains using the latest psychological techniques
I want to look into your eyes and tell you
I
LOVE
YOU
SQUARED!

Life is Too Short

A few days ago a little girl died at the age of 5. Young, innocent, and with the potential to do or be anything. This is my 3rd summer in Charlotte and each one has brought me into closer contact with death. The first was a minor car accident that left my car unusable, the second was a major wreck that should have killed me, Thank God im still here today. This summer it was her death, as I sat there and held her hand in the hospital the only thing I could think of was why? Why take her life? Why let it happen, she was so young...just why? Every time a person comes in contact with death it makes them think something different...It gives you a different perspective on things. Life is too short..too short for bitterness, too short for pettiness, too short for the bickering, for the drama, for all the bad things. If only we would value every second we have here just a little more the world would be a better place. As a people, and im not just talking the black community, im talking about everybody! If only we would do better...As a writer, a poet, a young black man, as just a man, I dedicate my life to valuing every second spent here and to making the world a better place...

Somethings got to give...

R.I.P. Ameia Yanni Lampkin