LOVE IS SUICIDE

Love is suicide for the overactive brain
They say the more you know the less you wanna know
Every nagging question that lingers in the front of your mind
Every unanswered question mark
Every seemingly suspicious move...
We just have to know it all
Love is suicide for the overactive brain
See..
We over think, over analyze, over characterize, overreact, we just over EVERYTHING!
Because something is being kept from us
He/she isn't saying something or is doing something
And we just have to know what it is!
Our minds will turn and turn, spin and spin, clockwise no! Counterclockwise maybe they will just roll UGHHHHHHH
Love is suicide for the overactive brain
The brain that must know it all!
The brain that needs all the cards laid out before it will play
Love is what the brain wants
Love is what the brain needs
Love is what the brain can't handle
But as the brain is doing all of this overthinking, driving a wedge between me and you, you and her, or you and him
Would somebody please, PLEASE tell me
Where is the heart?

Prerequisite Love

Sleepless nights I lay awake with lingering thoughts of you
Thoughts of you from days long gone
Days where we once shared a space
Days where your tears were dried by my fingers and your smile was caused by my hands
But those days are long gone
Long forgotten
They are but a memory passing away with the sands of time
And yet my heart holds on
Trying to salvage from the wreckage a love that has come and gone
Our time entered and existed and I became your prerequisite love
I was the appetizer that prepared you for your entree
I paved the way so that the man you have now would have an easy road to travel
And as I built that road I didn't see it that way
I saw a road that we would travel down together forever
There was no end
Just the ever setting orange sun on the horizon ahead of us
I had dreams
I had plans
I had hope
I thought I had a future
All I had was a vision
A vision of how I wanted things to be
But hear I sit alone and heartbroken
While you run around with another man
Walking the path that I laid for him
Me?
I was just the prerequisite love

Put my Pen down

I put my pen down for a minute and didn't write, I just couldn't find the words to say. With so much on my heart and on my mind I couldn't get the words out. Then I realized I needed to keep them in. I was on a search, a detailed search. My time away was my self exposition. It was me finding, defining, and refining me.

I found that I was flawed, more flawed than I had actually believed. It was me finding that my happiness did not lay in what was around me but rather what was in me.

It was me defining me. Defining my identity, not as a poet, not as a money guru but as a Christian, a man, and a leader. My identity is found in the things I hold most important: God and family.

My break also refined me. It was the author and finisher taking a chisel to this stone and carving out what he wants me to be. My refining was the submission of my will and my way to God's will.

My self exposition found, defined, and refined me. The break is over.

And I'm back....