The Sweetest Kiss

The sweetest kiss is the one you wait what seems like forever for
The one you dreamed about every day and every night
Eagerly anticipating its coming because you knew what it would be
Its the one you played over in your head a million times
How to position your lips
Where to put your hands
How tight to close your eyes
You thought it all through...
This sweet sweet kiss would one day be yours...
4 lips
2 people
1 beautiful feeling...
I waited for your kiss because I knew none would be better
I knew nothing could surpass it or even match it...
Its the perfect feeling..
My lips pressed against your lips
with your body pressed against mine with our arms wrapped tightly around each other
To me, this is the sweetest kiss
Its every kiss with you
Every peck and every french
My lips and your lips..
That is the perfect kiss
Now that I'm thinking about it...I can still taste it..
Your perfect kiss
The kiss I dreamed about and can't wait to have again
Because it truly is the sweetest kiss...

Unspoken Love

Some things don't need to be said
Like the ever present I love you...
It's funny how after each kiss we can look into each other's eyes and say everything we need to say without uttering a word..
Our hearts talk while our lips stay silent
Ours, is an unspoken love
We don't need to say it because we already know its there
It's the love we share
The silent love
The ever present love
Our hearts and minds remain cognizant of its existence while our lips never utter a word
This is the unspoken love
The true love that can't be contained within those 7 letters
The love that the farthest of distances couldn't separate
That time can't unravel
And the love that hate couldn't conquer
It is the epitome of every right feeling in our bodies...
It is the love we never say because we fear words would ruin it
It is our deep, consistent, flawless, unabridged, unhindered, unspoken..
love

A writer...

Sometimes I write so much I get a cramp in my wrist...
And then there are the times where I can't even pick up a pen to write my name.
I am a writer
I like to believe I write pictures with this pen of mine
I write the world as I see it: Good, Bad and everything in the middle...
I dream that one day someone will read my work and be inspired by it, they will change the world and in some big speech say what they have done was inspired by Claude A. Quartlbaum II...
But as it stands I am just a writer
Writing the world as I see it: Good, Bad, and everything in the middle...
Apart from being a writer, I am a man
A man who sees a world in need and wants to bring change
The thing is: I have no clue where to start or what to do..
So that brings me back to just being a writer, writing the world as I see it: Good, Bad and everything in the middle..
My whole life I've been told I am destined for greatness..
And now I sit at this place where I am on the precipice of greatness..
A greatness I can't actually see or interpret.
So I write, I write about my confusion, my fear, my life...
The pen is my escape
It is how I discover me..
The inspiration, the man, the voice of a people, a generation, and maybe even the world...
For now I am just a writer...
All I ask is you see past my imperfections and love me for who I am...
A writer.....

Now Press Rewind

You make me sick!
I won't acknowledge your presence let alone speak...
I can't stand you and you can't stand me
Hate is a real strong word so I won't use it, but I damn sure don't love you
To be real If you disappeared I probably wouldn't even care
The essence of my disdain towards you is summed up in that childish behavior you can't seem to let go...
I don't curse but here is a very big **** you saying see ya sucka!
Bye loser
Peace!
Just go away...
I sometimes wonder how we got here...
So I press rewind...
2 years ago it was all love
You were draped in those famous Xs and Os, kisses and hugs.
There were plans for marriage
Babies
Taking my name and I even went as far as to hang up my jersey because I swore I was done with the game...nothing could come between us...
My nose was so open you couldn't tell me a thing...
You were my ride or die joint...no questions behind it
We were indestructible
A force that couldn't be stopped...
But as I fast forward to today and hit play
I see something much different...
We won't even look at each other...the day of love is long gone
I don't have any of those feelings anymore and to be honest I don't want them
I'm past that, so if you want to live in the past that's fine
My suggestion is to stop time and press rewind...
I'm over it...

Have You Forgotten How To Love Your Man?

My woman
My baby
My heart
My queen...I love you more than you will ever know
I do all I can for you
But baby, have you forgotten how to love your man?
Sometimes I want you to hold me..
Grab tight like you won't let go...
Just because I like the way your arms feel around me
Sometimes I want you to slide up and whisper a sweet nothing in my ear and close it with a gentle kiss
Sometimes I want you to call me constantly just because you miss me
Have you forgotten how to love your man?
Have you forgotten I love it when you're under me?
Or when you hold my hand?
Have you forgotten I love your kiss and your touch?
Have you forgotten I love your cravings for attention?
Have you forgotten how to love your man?
I hope not
Because with everything in me...I love you
But if you can't love me
Then I just don't see a we...

Love & War

All is fair in love and war
So let's have a love war
Full of passionate kisses
Throwing pillows
Lots of biting
With much rough housing
Rolling around
Tumbling
It looks more like a dance than it does war
Its a war dance
Rhythmic movements to a slow and steady beat
Picking up occasionally
But always slowing down
Because we need to savor this moment
Savor the taste of each other
Savor the taste of life
Savor the taste of love
More wrestling
More tumbling
All to a slow and steady beat
That plays the song of you and me
This is our LOVE....WAR....DANCE

Our Black President

We have a black President
400 years of slavery
Another 100 years of oppression
And another 40 years of struggles after that
but today...NOVEMBER 4, 2008
WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT

I thank God for allowing me to see history be made in my lifetime, neither the journey or battle is over though, and the last thing we can do is become complacent with where we are in our lives. Having a black president is great, but the McCain rallies have proves, if anything, that there are still some twisted paradigms out there, so until we change those we still have something to fight for. There can always be better and that is something we need to fight to achieve...

Selfish Love

There is no doubt that you loved me
But for a second let's examine that love..
That Selfish love
That love focused solely on your needs, wants, and interests
That love that pushed my interests aside and discarded my feelings...
That selfish love...
I gotta tell you now
Thats not love
If you really loved me
You would have cared
Would have been there
You wouldn't have let me slip away...
My love fought...
It fought for us
It fought for what my disillusioned eyes thought they saw
For what my heart thought it had
My love fought for...
Love
I guess what we had was seen through two different lens'
My scope saw someone I needed to please
Your scope saw the same thing
The problem is...
Our lens' looked at the same person...
Maybe I'm wrong
Maybe you did everything right and I was the selfish one
Either way
Our relationship fell victim to SELFISH LOVE

I Cry

A lot of men are raised to believe that men don't cry,
It is a sign of weakness
It means you're soft
It means you can't handle life and the challeneges you are faced with...
So what do you do when the pressure becomes too much?
When you can't take it anymore
When your soul just needs to let loose and scream?
As a man I say cry
I cry
I cry because the pressure is getting to me
I cry because it hurts
I cry because nothing seems to go right
Because I've made so many mistakes and now I am paying for them
I cry because its my fault..
becaue it is the outward manifestation of everything I am feeling on the inside.
I cry because honestly, I don't know what else to do...
My tears say everything I can't say, won't say and I am afraid to say
My tears are an extension of me...
And as they form a puddle on my pillow,
I look into them and see my reflection
I see what I've become and what I am
I see me
Not the me I want to be
Not the me I hope to be
Not my dreams, aspirations, or anything of that matter
I see me
The man who wants to do good yet evil is always with him
The man weho has fought so hard to change but has never really been able to embody it
The imperfect, fallible, incomplete man...
So yes...I cry
I cry because I brought all of the pain, hurt and anguish on myself
My mistakes can be blamed on no one but me
And now I pay for it,
Looking above hoping for a forgiveness I don't deserve...
I now have to embody the change I want to be
My tears have to be the tears of joy now,
Amd when I look into that puddle I hope I see something else...


*The biggest disappointment isn't when someone else is disappointed in you but its when you are disappointed in yourself*

Is it what we say or what we don't say that hurts more?
Is it the F you or the lack of an apology?
Is the slamming of the door or the slap in the face?
We are all animals in this zoo called life...
The problem is we are caught up on who's watching, when nobody is ever looking
We do what we do for a reaction
We say we don't but lets be real, we do...
All because we hope someone is looking
Just hoping..
Pride and anger keep us from making the right choices...
The old folks say humility is a lost quality these days...I think they're right...
If only we would stop putting on a show for an imaginary audience and started doing things for each other everything would be good...
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is not easily angered
And Love keeps no record of wrongs...
What is love to you? I really want to know...
Im tired of us being animals at the zoo, putting on a show nobody's watching...

Mental Separation

Physically I'm here but mentally I'm not
I'm at the point where I just don't care
And if you're wondering...yes you drove me here!
Taking me for granted, I just couldn't stand it
I needed to be free I needed to be me
But I never left because I'm a good man
I let drive you drive me insane! I swear 6 more months they would have called me Claude Cobain
But still you couldn't see that you were hurting me
So I let my heart drift then my mind split!
My thought process you finally got it when I stopped it??
Realized you were wrong when my mind was gone??
And now you want back?? haha All I could do is laugh at that
I endured a mental separation to be greatly appreciated
But you let my mind slip for too long cuz physically I'm here but mentally I'm gone
We were once 2 souls connected by love, 2 hands connected by a touch
We went from inseparable to irreparable now my mind ain't even missing you
My thoughts are dissing you, silly boo, I don't even wanna kiss you
I endured a mental separation to be greatly appreciated
But in my appreciation I realized my own hatred for what we've become
Yes I see one...a future
not me & you but me & her
So yes I do see 1..no I see 7, but you wouldn't understand that because when it came to us I was always a separate man
So as I sit next to you and write this, type this, and jot this..I realize I'm timeless
Because with you nothing makes sense and nothing is right so tonight
My physical
has become part
of my
Mental Separation..

A Good Woman Part 2!

My good woman
My real good woman
She don't curse and don't drink
And she is really into me..I think
Doesn't matter, cuz ima make her mine with this line or the next one
And if not that then the next one or the next
This lady got me going crazy
Pick pocketed my heart before I showed her where I kept it
From the first time we locked eyes she peeped it so like a thief she just had to steal it
She's only human and I like that, she ain't perfect and neither am I
She's not really jealous and never goes nuts
And when I get introspective she is able to stay cool calm and collected maintaining her own perspective as our hearts dance to the beats of their own drums which just happens to be playing the same melody
Now don't think im getting mushy!
I'm just saying she's pretty cool
Kinda like if snow came in August or just plain old ice cubes
But this above average, extra ordinary, heart stealing thief has me tap dancing on cloud 10 just so I can look down at the losers on 9 and scream
"YOU'RE NOT AS HAPPY AS ME!!"
Wanna know what's even crazier?
I don't really know her
She is just a pretty face and a few exchanged words
Yet I feel a spark, no! a connection
The kind that only comes from post adolescent textin
Cuz when you grow up, your texts say more than lol and jk
They actually have SUBSTANCE
So I patiently wait for the day my lips come in contact with the woman who stole my heart
I won't take it back, instead I'll give her the rest of me
The complete package
Because she is:
Beautiful
Witty
Funny
Smart
Classy
Ambitious
A lover
A friend
She is the woman in the purple dress
She is super woman and wonder woman with a lil bit of cat woman all rolled into one
She is my GOOD woman

Oh Melissa

They say we don't appreciate what we have until it isn't there anymore
So true, so sad & so true
I had everything a man could hope for
Love
Trust
Loyalty
And Respect
Yet I threw it away
I would love to say it is because I was young and wasn't ready but I know that's no excuse
Melissa...
I'm sorry
Melissa...
Forgive me
Melissa...
I won't even ask you to take me back because I know I don't deserve it
Melissa...
You were and always will be my queen
The epitome of perfection is summed up in your essence, and maybe just maybe I'm placing you on a pedestal the world may feel you don't deserve but they don't know you like I do
Melissa
Melissa
I failed you as a man
I failed you as a friend
I just failed
You would think so many years removed I would have gotten past this
But you can't get past the best thing you ever had easily...
I miss you...
and wanna kiss you
I wanna hold you and show you that I can be the man for you
But I know the love is lost and I am too late
Oh Melissa
Oh Melissa
You are the greatest love I ever lost
And the greatest love I will never forget
Melissa...

My Confession

I've lied, cheated, and stolen
I've been good and I've been bad

My Confession

I've asked for the truth while I lied
I've gone against my own morals and principles for the popular choice

My Confession

I've chased God
I've ran from God
I've looked God in the face and cried
I've looked in the mirror and cried

My Confession

I've had deals of questionable legality
I've strong armed my way into bad deals all for profit

My Confession

I've just done a lot of wrong

My REAL Confession

I am a broken man, haunted by a clouded past. Raised by parents I never really knew. Tormented by the dreams and memories I have. I have seen more than I should have. I have faced the storm and walked through the hurricane.

I have created my own trouble

And attempted to forge my own path

I have...
Cried
Hit things
Been sad
Depressed
Hurt
Lost
Confused
Gone...

I am an incomplete man, I've come no where near the potential that lies inside of me. Truth is I don't even know how to access it, I don't know what it is and to be real, it scares me sometimes. What if I fail? What If I don't make it? What if I let myself and my family down?

I am just a man...

A man who is destined for greatness, but sometimes that destiny puts an exorbitant amount of pressure on me that no one seems to understand. It's hard to be a role model when you need one yourself, It's hard to have people looking to you when sometimes you just want to be left alone. And it's even harder to be the man you're supposed to be when you have 3 little brothers looking up at you...

Ever see Shrek? Ogres are like onions, many layers...

I've given you a small look into me...

I'm an ogre..

Big
Ugly
and with many layers

To Be Continued...

Completion

I would run for years if what I was chasing was you
They say you cannot be attained but I know I can
Because there is something different about me & you
You & me
Us
Because we are whole
The priors indicate separateness
Not whole
But that "US" represents unity
A bond
Something that can never be broken
It represents one
Because when I look at you and look at me
I see one
I see complete
In essence...I see 7
When most people speak of their relationships
They use terms such as "good" and "great"
But when I think of us..
I think complete

Light My Fire

I wanna give you what I don't have, I wanna give you me. I recognize the light that comes from you and I wanna combine it with mine, making us a torch too powerful to be snuffed. Two flames joined to make one, burning higher, stronger, and brighter than all the rest. But here is the problem, how can I give you what I don't have? I want to give you me but I was stolen from myself a long time ago. There was a woman before who stole my heart, ripped it out of my chest, stomped on it and laughed the whole time. She gave it back, just bruised, battered and distrusting. There was another one who stole my mind on multiple levels. She drove me crazy, pushed me to insanity, made me paranoid, capitalizing on my already distrusting heart, and finally she caused me to diminish my own intelligence by bringing me down to her level of simplicity. I got my mind back it just isn't the same. I wanna give you me but there was another who stole my feelings, she brought me to my current level of apathy, made me cold and heartless, I got those back too it's just hard to tell sometimes. But you, you make me feel nostalgic, reminiscing on what and who I was before I had my heart, mind, and feelings ripped away from me. I see the light in your eyes, and your heart and I want to connect it with my slightly diminishing light. I know your light can help reignite my own flame. So now all I can ask is that you accept this shell of a man and help me to be who I was before.

Quiggity....Waiting for her to light my fire

I Found Forever

I told her I was ready to start a family
So I asked her to marry me
And now we at the place where our lives meets kids
So now there is no more drama like dodging bids
It's just me and her
I had to call Common and tell him I found forever
It was in her heart and her eyes
And I knew it was special cuz it wasn't until our honeymoon when I touched her thighs
I gave her nothing but the truth, I never told lies
I even called my guys to let them know I was wise
Cuz the old heads told us that marriage brings wisdom
Keeping her happy has become my number one mission...
And as we go hard
I just sit and thank God
For gracing me with her presence
And her essence
So soon after my adolescence
When I thought I was still just a baby
She fell into my arms, forever my lady
I found forever
It's in her heart and her eyes
With her I'm transparent, there is no disguise
Her forever is in my arms
Just me and my wife, how it shoulda been from the start...
We got that crazy love
That hazy love
That let's make a baby love
And deep down everybody wants to be us..
But find your own love
Cuz your love is special..The love you have with her
I'm so glad I found my forever

A Good Woman

"Just because you cook and keep the house clean that doesn't make you a good woman, it makes you a good assistant, the problem with most women is that they don't know how to be their man's friend" --Some random guy I heard on the radio

"A Good Woman"

I'm never hungry because my good woman got me
I'm never lonely because my good woman got me
When I need an ear she lends it
When it comes to rules, she bends em
That's my good woman
She is my friend
My lover
She keeps me sane and drives me crazy
And through it all no one comes before my lady =)
She does all the good things and all the bad things
She is my good woman
Always there but never smothering
Even when she's angry she's always loving
I'll do anything for my good woman
My light
My sun
My moon
My earth
My queen
My best friend
She is absolutely everything to me...
Most guys don't recognize when they have a good thing
But I do...
And i'm gonna work to keep her and please her
Losing is not an option when it comes to My Good Woman

A Love Poem for my Nerds!

Coco asked me to do something a little light hearted, so I hope this one makes you laugh or at the very least smile...

"A Love Poem for My Nerds"

I'm pretty good with math
1+1=2
That's me plus you
Although we are 93 million miles from the sun
And there are 25,400,000 nanometers between us, thats close enough to know you're the one!
I want to make WAR with you like the revolutionary
The war of 1812
The 7 years war
The French and Indian war
World wars 1, 2 and the unavoidable 3!
But ours is a war of passion
A bubbling like the combination of baking soda and vinegar
Or an explosion like C7H5N3O6 (TNT for my non nerds)
I wanna make love to your brain as we discuss politics and the latest economic stimulus plan
I wanna slowly feed you chocolate covered strawberries as we figure out how to build a car that flies!
And finally....
As we go through random physics problems and analyze each others brains using the latest psychological techniques
I want to look into your eyes and tell you
I
LOVE
YOU
SQUARED!

Life is Too Short

A few days ago a little girl died at the age of 5. Young, innocent, and with the potential to do or be anything. This is my 3rd summer in Charlotte and each one has brought me into closer contact with death. The first was a minor car accident that left my car unusable, the second was a major wreck that should have killed me, Thank God im still here today. This summer it was her death, as I sat there and held her hand in the hospital the only thing I could think of was why? Why take her life? Why let it happen, she was so young...just why? Every time a person comes in contact with death it makes them think something different...It gives you a different perspective on things. Life is too short..too short for bitterness, too short for pettiness, too short for the bickering, for the drama, for all the bad things. If only we would value every second we have here just a little more the world would be a better place. As a people, and im not just talking the black community, im talking about everybody! If only we would do better...As a writer, a poet, a young black man, as just a man, I dedicate my life to valuing every second spent here and to making the world a better place...

Somethings got to give...

R.I.P. Ameia Yanni Lampkin

FREEDOM

The land of the free and the home of the brave
Yet so barbaric we might as well live in a cave
Everyone is entitled to freedom, yet all don't receive it on this great planet
Can you believe it?
America, the greatest of all nations
Yet this is the site of most of the hating
Here we fight for freedom
Where we are free but dumb
So why waste time trying to free the dumb from oppressors they are unaware of
Religious wars, we fighting the man above!
Separation of church and state is that really freedom?
17 drafted against your will, is that really freedom?
Doing what you want, is that even freedom?
Running your own life, that must be freedom...
The problem is we think we know freedom
But he or she is really a stranger to us
We do have freedom
We're just free and dumb..

Stop choosing not to do better and just do it...

"Untitled"

Im back again with a little someting else..

"Untitled"

Sometimes I wish I could fly to escape the pain, tragedy and sorrows circle my brain but no one understands what its like to be a man in a world that hates you. With your patience wearing thin all you can do is hope for a breakthrough but its hard when your heart is hard and unable to cope, and you ever really wanted to do was be dope. Words twisting, body flipping, I guess you pay for what you getting. I'm so messed up I just saw a dead bird fly and all I can do is ask why?

The weeping willow

First off, I would like to say hello all and pardon my absence. I'm back and better than before...hope you enjoy what you see and feel free to leave a comment.

This piece is an excerpt from a book I am currently working on:

"The Weeping Willow"

For the first time in my life I dropped my pride and cried
And felt like I died all because she lied
I fell on all fours behind closed doors and cried like the weeping willow
I just watched as sweat and tears filled my pillow
This is a love she couldn't handle
She put our flame in her hand and snuffed my candle
So just like the weeping willow I cried til I was dry on the inside
I said, I cried til I was dry on the inside!
My pride no longer exists
My life has a brand new twist
I don't know where to go
Or what to so like the willow...
I'll cry til I'm dry on the inside...

Mr. Q...I'm a man like any other, I feel, I laugh, I cry, I hurt....

Opposites Attract

Put the positive sides of a magnet together and you get nothing, the same happens with the negative sides, but if you take one positive and one negative they instantly connect, opposites attract. Many will take this saying and apply it to relationships, they say thats why good girls like bad guys. Lets be realistic for a second, can to complete opposites really get along blissfully for the rest of their lives? The old addage says opposites attract...and then they attack. Sure in the beginning the lure of someone different is appealing. Someone who doesn't think like you, talk like you, live like you...basically act the way you do, but how long can these two truly be happy together? Lets face it, after a while the little things start to annoy, everything straight down to the way they chew their food. For all of us who have dabbled with the idea of entertaining an opposite we know how quickly and how badly things can go south. It;s just one of those laws of nature that can't be circumvented. Don't get me wrong, as always there are a few exceptions to the rule but those are few and far in between. My advice, get someone who is like you mentally, interest wise, spiritually, and in whatever other way tickles your fancy. Remember this: A house divided cannot stand.

Claude A. Quartlbaum II