Pensive
But I can't quite define the thoughts
Happy, sad, delusional, optimistic, pessimisstic, dominating, submissive...
Well that all depends on what part of my brain you're looking from
I'm not quite happy
Not quite sad
Not quite all there either
I'm just blah
My mind and my heart are drifting further and further away....from each other
My heart is moving towards love
While my mind is dwelling in fear
In the fear that my heart will only be crushed by this love it seeks so earnestly
My mind fears the reprocussions and backlash that can come from another crushed heart
So it imagines
It comes up with the worst possible scenarios
Draws every bad conclusion
And firmly believes that everything can and will go wrong
But my heart is optimistic
Seeing this love through rose colored glasses
Seeing everything it has hoped and dreamed for come to fruition
My heart has been heavy long enough and has decided to release the burden of all those failed attempts from its shoulders
It is putting its best foot forward and stepping out on faith
A faith that tells it everything will be ok
Because this love
This is the love its been waiting for
The dichotomy between my heart and mind has never been more apparent to me
One fears
One hopes
One trusts
One won't
In the end
All they want is for me to be happy
My mind through rationale
My heart through emotion
I want for me what they want for me
I just want to be happy...